RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: Who’d you rather be in the trenches with: Surkeir or the hurling stick hero from Belfast?

Sorry about this, but I’m in full Elvis Costello ‘Oh, I just don’t where to begin’ mode again today. Accidents will happen. One minute I’m planning a Janet And John spoof, on the grounds that the gentle books which taught millions of us to read, are denounced as ‘colonialist’ and ‘racist’ and must be banned lest they brainwash a new generation into wrong-think.

The next minute ‘Babylon Is Burning’ in Belfast, after a migrant from an ‘alien culture’ who made it into the UK via Dublin and the Long Good Friday Agreement allegedly attempts to behead someone in the street.

Plan A

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