My family have forbidden me from telling my aunt that her sister – my mother – has died. What can I do? DEAR CAROLINE

Dear Caroline,

I lost my mother and my brother within five months of each other. My brother’s death was sudden and unexpected and was very traumatic as he was staying with me at the time. As you may imagine, this has left me deeply traumatised.

However, some members of the family have forbidden me to tell my aunt – my mother’s sister – about either of these deaths. She is elderly and quite frail but still has all her mental faculties. They say they won’t talk to me again if I do. I can understand their concern for their own mother, but

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