QUENTIN LETTS: Andy Burnham’s eyeballs popped out from under those beautifully vaselined eyebrows

Andy Burnham’s campaign launch? Thumbs-ups, swaggering tummy, Cool-Daddio dress code, plus hugs for Labour MPs, football banter and self-basting cries of ‘brilliant, mate!’

It is eerie how similar Our Next Prime Minister sounds to Paul Whitehouse’s comedy-sketch character, The Brilliant Kid – a geeky Northern lad who spoons about the place with loping gait, marvelling at the most obvious things.

Mr Burnham had summoned some 30 supporters to the car park of the Stubshaw Cross community club, Wigan, for the launch of his Keir Starmer decapitation campaign. This is otherwise known as the Makerfield by-election, which Labour has provoked to rid us

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