Pubs and televised football tournaments go together like beer and crisps. But who will you be jostling for the best view of the big screen? Here’s our spotter’s guide to the 11-strong dream team of archetypes you’ll meet down your local during World Cup 2026. Warning: if there’s one you don’t recognise, it’s probably you. Now hurry up, kick-off is looming and it’s your round…
Christian Adams
1. The proud patriot
This footballing flag-shagger will sport the same “lucky” England shirt for five weeks, raising concerns about his personal hygiene. He’ll belt out the national anthem with deranged fervour, spitting Greggs…
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