What’s really in your supermarket Wagyu – and that £11 patty from Burger King: How the most expensive meat on Earth has turned into something so dry, bland and deeply boring: TOM PARKER BOWLES

Wagyu. It is, they say, the finest beef on Earth, and most expensive too. Not so much a lump of meat as the stuff of culinary legend; a Japanese cow so worshipped, adored and exalted that it lives the life of a gilded millionaire.

There are tales of the massages to keep the muscles relaxed, of course. And opera, preferably Puccini, piped in while they lounge in their custom-built sheds. Then a diet containing a lavish spread of the sweetest corn, barley and rice grass, punctuated by swigs of beer, and cupfuls of sake.

All this exquisite indolence, though, the coddling and

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